I woke up the other day and found myself questioning what I was doing? Was I really able to make a positive impact with my work? Am I a good Mom and partner? How can I keep up?
It was one of those weeks… it’s also the first week back to school for my little ones. I wanted to write this down for you in the hope that you will know, the struggle is real, even for me! Yes, I have these fleeting thoughts and doubting moments.
I don’t know about you, but I feel exhausted!
My energetic bank account has all of a sudden felt depleted. The slow sizzle of burnout. How did I find myself in this situation again? I look back and realize the lack of routine and the unknown of the summer months, was oh so great and oh so detrimental.
The juggling of so many roles; not enough space or distinction between work and home; I found my emotional landscape vibrant, sensitive and raw at times.
Emotional triggers going off like fog horns, jarring… from 0 to 100 decibels in loudness. The feelings of frustration, anger, happiness, anxiety, sadness, the whole of the spectrum, a prism of light and I do not know which way to look. This all comes on in a matter of seconds.
Whatever the emotion that is being felt, stopping, taking time to notice the emotion is the best way to not ignore it. Honour yourself and finding the way back quicker to a greater equilibrium. It does not make you any less strong by acknowledging your feelings, in fact quite the opposite.
As I sat in my room and felt the tears trickled down my cheeks, I gave myself the space to emotionally unload. I picked up a pencil and allowed my energy to flow. I pressed so hard on the paper…. SNAP… my pencil led breaks. I pick up a new pencil up again, softly allowing the lines to dance across the page. Then picking colours as quickly as I can, I feel the transcendence of colour wash over me, and the fog soon lifts.
I am SO thankful for my Doodle Break!