Are you exhausted or overwhelmed? Do you like to make people happy? You may be struggling with saying yes too often.
I always used to say yes. It was very natural for me, until one day I came down with Mono and my doctor’s prescription was, besides rest, to say ‘no’.
When I peeled back the layers of why I struggled with saying ‘no’, I realized that saying yes and being there for people, was how I identified with myself.
Thinking about others and their needs is certainly a healthy attitude, but when it starts to become of greater value than your own, it can have a detrimental impact on how you are feeling and your own health. Saying ‘no’ is a way to stay productive and minimize your stress levels.
So, what about the word ‘no’ is so difficult?
Often times it stirs up negative feelings inside. Perhaps you feel guilty, maybe embarrassed or you see this as a weakness and don’t want to let anyone down.
Perhaps consider exploring what would it mean to you to say ‘no’? Would it concern you what others think? Would this impact your relationships or do you think it would change the view of yourself?
This self-awareness is very important in feeling more comfortable with saying ‘no’.
Sometimes I still feel a little niggle when I say ‘no’, usually with the people who are closest to me. But most times I feel great and find I do a little dance inside, because I have said yes to myself!
Start to implement ‘no’ today!
- Start by practicing – Start saying the word ‘no’ out loud. This may seem funny, but the more you do this the more comfortable it becomes. Now it is time to start practicing on others.
- “I’ll get back to you” – sometimes we say ‘yes’ without even thinking about it or looking at your schedule. Give yourself time to really think about if this is something you can do.
- Stop apologizing – If you are going to say no, there is no need to apologize for guarding your time.
- Know your priorities – Your time is precious, know your commitments. You can always say “I am unable right now, as my plate is overloaded at the moment.”
- Understanding your priorities – Any extra time is hard to find, but if you do find you have a window of time is this how you would like to spend your time? For me I know more requests, mean less time for my family who are the most important to me.
So be aware what you are saying ‘yes’ to. Maybe a lunch that you really do not have time for. Baking for yet another social gathering. Or just something you actually do not want to do. Are you saying yes for the sake of it?
Fill your December with recognizing your time and energy must also be preserved if you are going to help others in the way and to the extent you want.
Happy saying ‘no’!
Do you have any questions? I would love to hear from you, please email me on: firstname.lastname@example.org
By the way, if you are looking ways to say YES to yourself, check out the Creative Mind. Happy Soul Journal HERE